I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
