Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
