sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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