Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
