On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
