i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
