So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
