Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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