Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
