I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
