We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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