I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
worst night to have a conscience
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I love you.
Bad choice
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