this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
