I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
