I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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