No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
