I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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