PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
