sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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