is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
