So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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