You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
