that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
