who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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