the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
