just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
FUCK WHALES
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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