The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
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my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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