Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
