my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize