her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
