they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
