I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
