It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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