We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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