turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
