the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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