I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
