too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
