I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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