You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize