Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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