Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You work out of a Hotel?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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