I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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