Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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