Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
