Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
