i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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