Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
