Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
