final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Come on in and take your pants off
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