How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
