make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
