She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
