Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
