oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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