Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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