belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
