I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
