If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
