It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
we're so committed to being not committed
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
