And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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