Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
