2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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