What a fucking waste of an outfit
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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