I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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