come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i think i just lost a toe
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
